So what's the problem? I have some pretty toxic family members. I'm not entirely sure why, they're telling my aunt that she's selfish and thoughtless. There is nothing selfish about wanting to live. She has never asked me to do this for her, I offered. I want this more than anything. No, I'm not trying to be a hero, but sometimes, life asks you to rise above and beyond yourself and do something for another. Why don't they understand that she is dying, and this will save her life??
Here's my aunt's email to me today, after I told her what my transplant coordinator said:
"Oh wow...that was quick. How do you feel? Are you nervous or scared? If you're still not sure then just take your time. I don't want you to rush if you are not comfortable. Thank you for your thoughtfulness, Audrey. Your gesture is wonderful enough and makes me wish I didn't have this problem so you don't have to sacrifice so much. So give it some thought OK? I don't want people to judge me if I receive the kidney from you. Some have already said that I'm selfish and thoughtless but I just hope you're OK and happy to go through it. "
She does not deserve this. How dare someone call her selfish? This was my response to her, I had to do a lot of editing, my original letter had many more curses...
"How do I feel? I feel great, a little fat, but great nonetheless. I'm a little nervous, and a little scared...mostly I have nightmares about getting an ugly scar 
but I think that will pass. I'm actually trying to rush...just a little bit, the sooner I get this done, the more healed I'll be for my birthday 
(that's my own selfish, thoughtlessness).
All jokes aside- To be absolutely honest, this is the easiest decision I've ever made, and I've never been so sure about anything. I've given it a lot of thought, and I'm so fortunate to have a great support group of friends, family and co-workers. What hurts me the most is that people that should be supporting us, are putting us down. Please don't let them get to you. Don't feel selfish, there's nothing selfish about wanting to be healthy. You never asked me for anything, I offered. It's my body, I'll do what I want with it...I wonder why anyone is surprised by this considering all the tattoos and nonsense I do to myself.
This is the way I see it....this as an opportunity for a better life (for both of us), not a sacrifice. People are going to judge you, always and forever...they'll judge you about the house you buy, the car you drive, the clothes you wear, how many kidneys you have, your haircut...NONE of it matters. They judge others because their own lives are severely lacking in purpose and happiness. People like that can't see past their own tragic existence, and I feel sorry for them...so sorry that they will never experience life the way you and I will- (be happy you don't live in their world.) We'll both be judged by everyone, but you know in your heart of hearts that we're not doing anything wrong. Remember what's important- we have some pretty amazing people in our lives that do support us and love us no matter what. It's time for us to find out who really cares for us and who really cares about how we make them look.
I don't take this decision lightly, but it was an easy one to make. I'm more than happy to go through hell and back a thousand times for anyone I care about. I know I'm young, and I know not many young people get to give something away, and come out the other side with more appreciation for life and love. Negativity is toxic, and we don't need it...especially now. Just keep your thoughts light and happy. I can't promise this will be over soon, or that life will get easier. But life will be better!! Love you so much! Don't worry about me, judgMENTAL people don't bother me"
All jokes aside- To be absolutely honest, this is the easiest decision I've ever made, and I've never been so sure about anything. I've given it a lot of thought, and I'm so fortunate to have a great support group of friends, family and co-workers. What hurts me the most is that people that should be supporting us, are putting us down. Please don't let them get to you. Don't feel selfish, there's nothing selfish about wanting to be healthy. You never asked me for anything, I offered. It's my body, I'll do what I want with it...I wonder why anyone is surprised by this considering all the tattoos and nonsense I do to myself.
This is the way I see it....this as an opportunity for a better life (for both of us), not a sacrifice. People are going to judge you, always and forever...they'll judge you about the house you buy, the car you drive, the clothes you wear, how many kidneys you have, your haircut...NONE of it matters. They judge others because their own lives are severely lacking in purpose and happiness. People like that can't see past their own tragic existence, and I feel sorry for them...so sorry that they will never experience life the way you and I will- (be happy you don't live in their world.) We'll both be judged by everyone, but you know in your heart of hearts that we're not doing anything wrong. Remember what's important- we have some pretty amazing people in our lives that do support us and love us no matter what. It's time for us to find out who really cares for us and who really cares about how we make them look.
I don't take this decision lightly, but it was an easy one to make. I'm more than happy to go through hell and back a thousand times for anyone I care about. I know I'm young, and I know not many young people get to give something away, and come out the other side with more appreciation for life and love. Negativity is toxic, and we don't need it...especially now. Just keep your thoughts light and happy. I can't promise this will be over soon, or that life will get easier. But life will be better!! Love you so much! Don't worry about me, judgMENTAL people don't bother me"
No comments:
Post a Comment