Insomnia Strikes Again

Post Valentine's Day, and after a night out with my girlfriends, I find myself unable to sleep.   The only thing going through my mind at the moment is the French lullaby, Au Clair de la Lune.  My mom used to sing that to me to go to sleep, so perhaps my sleep deprived subconscious is trying to get me into a REM cycle.

"Au clair de la lune" means "Under the moonlight"  The song speaks of the search for a pen to write, under the moonlight.  Funny, I now lay in bed, au clair de lune, searching for inspiration.  

Lyrics go something like this
(from what I can remember, there are several more verses)

Au clair de la lune
Mon ami Pierrot
Prête-moi ta plume

Pour écrire un mot
Ma chandelle est morte
Je n'ai plus de feu
Ouvre-moi ta porte
Pour l'amour de Dieu

"Under the moonlight,
My friend Pierrot
Lend me your pen*,
So I could write a word
My candle is out,
I've no more light
Open your door for me,
For God's sakes"

Ce qui embellit le désert, dit le petit prince, c'est qu'il cache un puits quelque part...Antoine de Saint Exupéry

Je Ne Vous Oublie Pas

"If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden." 

Has it been a year??? My dear, dear baby boy...I miss you so much, I hope you're watching over us. 

Thank you for visiting me in my dreams the other night, I can't tell you how much I've missed the sound of your voice, your corse fur, and the thump of your tail...

It was a year ago today, that I lost you, that you crossed the bridge.  I can only hope and pray there is a special place for dogs to go after they leave this life...and I can only pray, I can go there too.

Life is sublime

This past weekend I was able to celebrate my cousin's marriage to his girlfriend of 10 years.  My entire family (maternal side) came out...all the way from Vietnam, Korea, Florida, Texas, and Washington.  It was wonderful to see everyone after so long, 5+ years for many of us.

My cousins are no longer my little baby cousins, but grown women, over 21 and most in college or recently graduated.  Seeing them, it was like we were never parted.  We're all still reflections of the same little girls that played on the ranch in Houston, Tx, ran amuck at Islands Of Adventure in Oralando, FL, we're still the same hoodlums our parents had to chase around the house to get the pantyhose off our heads.  I realize time does not effect my relationships with my family, our bonds are like the oldest redwood, we just get stronger with time. 

This particular celebration was bittersweet, the groom's father, my uncle, had passed away 6 days before the wedding.  He had been battling cancer for some time, and was unable to fight any longer.  My Uncle Thuc, was a helicopter pilot for the VN army, he was a devout Catholic, he is a hero, and he used to call me his Famous Star.

Rest in Peace, Uncle...we'll remember you forever  06.02.1942 - 01.29.2012

 

 

 I believe my uncle was comfortable to leave, knowing his sons had grown into good men that love their wives and his daughter is strong and marvelously creative.  My aunt has a grandson, and another on the way, she no longer has her husband, but his legacy lives on within his family.

Life is sublime, our threads weave a tapestry so magnificent and elaborate that time itself can lose itself within our colors.  In reflection, I am so fortunate to know the people I know, and they have changed my life in ways I cannot begin to describe.

And your future ain't brighter than your present, quit stressin'

Til Death?

In February, I have 3 weddings to attend... 3 dresses to squeeze into, and 3 chances to blow it in the wedding photos.  All 3 weddings are going to be so different and unique, I'm really excited.  But it does make me look deeper into relationships...and what about these 3 that just...work... (and why none of these would work for me).  They're all around my age (20-somethings) and as couples, they compliment each other in the best way.  I can't wait until I find someone I have that type of compatibility with (but no, I'm still not sold on the idea of holy matrimony).

The first wedding has 700+ people invited, traditional Catholic ceremony, with a traditional Vietnamese reception.  My cousin and his fiance have been together for over 8 years, so in a few months, there won't be any surprises for the couple.  They are so sweet to each other, and aren't ashamed to be good to each other.  The other day, the bride posted pics of how my cousin had left her "lunch money" in the bathroom cabinet with a note...and a few feet away, another note saying there's some desert in the fridge for her.  So sweet!  I'm wondering if they bride and groom will go to the reception in the traditional Ao Dai (photo below, no, these people aren't my cousins)  I love the traditional look, but the silk is not forgiving on a lumpy body like my own.

What I love about my cousins is that they delight in the childish innocence of love. Both coming from large families with lots of siblings, they don't mind sharing space, "toys" and time.  They are on the same level, both decided school and careers were the priority, and now that they both have stable careers, they've taken that step.  It was wonderful to see them grow from young college students, to adults that are just as in love as the first day...maybe even more so.


Wedding number two, will be an intimate ceremony of 40 people , and just a dinner at a nice restaurant in Laguna Beach, CA.  The plan of the bride and groom after the dinner is to have all their friends that weren't able to attend the wedding, come in a local bar for dancing and drinking.  This couple, I've known for about 4 years, they've been together since college and they have seen some serious ups and downs.  There was a point in their relationship when it actually ended, and they were apart for some months...but when they reunited, I've never seen anything stronger. What I love about this couple is that their wedding fully represents their personalities to a tee.  Intimate. Beautiful. Close. Simple. The bride is nothing like you've seen on that show of Bridezillas, quite the opposite.  Though this is an important day for them, they only care about the fact that they will be finally solidifying their commitment to one another before a small group of close friends and family.  A passion these two share with me, is our love for our pets.  Lexie, their first bulldog (they have 3 now) will be the ring-bearer.  I'm really looking forward to this wedding and  I'm honored to be apart of this celebration.

The venue, is absolutely to die for... (this is why we live in Southern California)

The third and final wedding, are the most unique, and colorful couple I've ever known.  He is a tattoo artist, Hawaiian transplant, laid back, surfer type and 6-7 years younger than his bride.  She is energetic, creative and a wonderfully kind and talented hairstylist from San Diego, CA (with the most adorable taste ever).  They ceremony will be in beautiful San Diego, CA at a lovely resort I've always dreamed of visiting.

 They are such a great couple, I can't even begin to describe their compatibility.  Their commonality is their creativity and their love for each other...but personality-wise...this is truly and "opposites attract" scenario.  I How lovely their ceremony is at a resort, and the reception is at a traditional Asian seafood restaurant!! :) 

The Big Waste-Changed my life

I will never look at food the same way after watching the Food Network show- The Big Waste

Over 40% of the food grown in America is never eaten!! How is this possible?!?! In 2010, 48.8 million Americans lived in food insecure households, 32.6 million adults and 16.2 million children (from FeedingAmerica.org)  This show does open my eyes, that yes there is SO much waste, and the people that need to be fed, aren't getting food.  I'm sure these farmers, grocers, would not be able to make a decent living if they did sell their "blemished" produce at a better price.  Could they donate their overage?  Probably not... Would you throw a fit if you found out your son's school cafeteria made his lunch with "waste" from the farm....I thought so.  (even though this "waste" is probably fresher and healthier than what he's getting now)

On the show, these grocery owners, produce farmers, wholesellers gave all their "trash" away to these famous chefs...my question is...If I showed up at their back door, would I get the same treatment?

The problem does not lie in the amount of waste...the problem lies in the American people.  We are trained to only accept perfection.  There are so many rules and regulations that would prevent these farmers to donate produce, or for me to show up and take their trash.  What is the solution then?  Is there a solution?  I cannot accept that there is nothing we can do.

I do appreciate the things that the folks over at Freegan do...they teach "waste reclamation" and an alternate lifestyle.  Please have a read.

If you do have a chance, please catch The Big Waste on Food Network...it might change the way you look at things.

Resolutions for 2012

So again, I've been quite the wayward blogger.  Life gets too much in the way to sit down and just write.  But it is 2012, the world is about to end, so I may as well get whatever I'm thinking into the world now.

Tis' the season of resolutions, and I, like everyone else, is very gung-ho about my resolutions in January, only to have it become an "epic fail" by February.  So let's just try this again, shall we?

1. Spend less money on restaurant dining - limit eating out to 2x monthly, cook more: I've recently gone over my spending trends, and I spend an ungodly amount of money at restaurants!! And then I wonder why my bills never get paid...because I'm too busy being a fat girl and eating my money.  This particular resolution is one I am quite motivated about, since I plan to buy myself a new car for my birthday, it would be nice to have all my bills paid off by then.

2. Exercise daily - Bas Rutten's MMA workout: I am going to try to do the 28 minutes every day without wanting to kill myself.  Then hopefully, I will graduate to more difficult exercises.

3. Blog more:  Every day, I have things to say...to absolutely no one...I need to start getting back into the groove.  Obviously, I have some commitment issues that hinder my ability to write daily, but I will do my best.

4. No regrets:  I live life by the philosophy of no regrets..."because at one point, that was exactly what you wanted"  The only way I can be absolutely sure I will not regret the things that I do...is to think before I act.  To not regret my actions, I will be more sensitive to others' feelings and think of others.

That's all for this year.  Hopefully, I'll be able to stick to it!!